


The Usual Drunk Call Talks

by errizabesu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bittersweet Ending, Detective Inspector - Shiro, Doctor - Keith, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 03:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12290292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/errizabesu/pseuds/errizabesu
Summary: “I guess every break up needs an old fashioned drunk call kind of talk.”Or, the one where Shiro wakes up finding Keith's name on his calls history--a year after they broke up





	The Usual Drunk Call Talks

Flashes of white forces Shiro to shut his eyes again, deeming the struggle he puts to open them a total waste. He pulls a handful of hair as an effort to ease his pounding head—it did nothing. His tongue tastes acidic and watery, disgusting watery while his throat dry as the Sahara. Shiro groans in pain. His back hurts, legs numb, and he still cannot open his eyes properly.

Wow, those extra shots were a bad idea after all. Or he’s just getting old.

“Oh gods,” Shiro growls. If the headaches don’t kill him, his twisting stomach probably will.

Despite being beyond wasted, he made it back home—sort of. Shiro isn’t entirely sure if spending the night on the bathroom floor while hugging the toilet seat filled with unflushed vomit counts as lucky.

Shiro struggles to stand up. He puts the toilet seat down after flushing the vomit. He runs both hands across his face and gives himself a moment to get used to standing on his two shaky legs. One hand then slides down to feel his pockets. Shiro can feel his wallet still in the right place and after some digging he found his phone.

Oh, perhaps last night wasn’t so bad after all.

But Shiro is wrong, so very wrong.

 _Call me when you’re sober_ , says Allura’s message.

Shiro scoffs. What the hell Allura, you’re not my mom. This isn’t the first time their after work drinks came to a wild end. It was when Shiro opens his calls history he understands Allura’s message completely.

“Oh gods _no_.”

 

* * *

 

 

Without much words Allura pops two aspirin pills and hands it over to Shiro. The man then gulps it dry, something he’ll never do on normal occasions. Allura sits in an empty chair across the room. Her eyes pry every inch of Shiro’s miserable state.

“I told you those extra shots were a bad idea,” Allura says.

“You should have stopped me!” Shiro groans.

“Oh please, as if you’d listen,” Allura folds her arms in front of her chest.

“You could have at least tried,” Shiro insists stubbornly.

“I never said I didn’t,” Allura defends herself.

Shiro scratches his heavy head and rubs his watery eyes.

“But hey, at least we finally figured what type of drunk you are,” Allura says with a chuckle. Shiro has the highest alcohol tolerance within their group. Seeing him in this state is a gold mine—pure blackmailing material. Allura would have joined the collective bullying if she didn’t know better.

“Really, Allura? Can we please save the jokes for later, when I’m not busy keeping my head in one piece,” Shiro massages his own temple.

“The sentimental type,” Allura continues anyway. She keeps her eyes focused on Shiro and watches the change in Shiro’s face as she brings up the topic.

“You shut up,” Shiro finally comments.

“I’m just hinting that maybe—“

“Don’t say it,” Shiro says under his breath.

“Maybe,” Allura ignores Shiro and shoots him a serious stare. “Maybe you’re not over him.”

There is grave difference between talking to yourself and hearing it from others. The idea has popped into his head numerous times, yes Shiro will admit that, but that’s all there is—ideas.

“Pfft. Keith? No, no, absolutely not. I’m so done with him,” Shiro shrugs.

“Your call history would disagree,” Allura points out in a matter of factly.

Somehow hearing it from Allura makes it sound a hundred times more convincing.

“Damn it Allura! I was drunk. I called him when I was drunk. So what? It’s not a big deal,” Shiro torts.

“You wouldn’t panic if it wasn’t a big deal,” Allura says. “For goodness sake, why do you still have his number? Seriously, you guys broke up a year ago! And you’ve been acting like shit ever since.”

“I have not!” Shiro protests.

“Yes you have, Shit-rogane,” Allura argues. “How long was the call?”

“Twelve minutes,” Shiro says heavily.

“Bloody hell, you’re screwed,” Allura mutters. “Did he text you back? Anything?”

“None,” Shiro sighs.

“Oh well, perhaps drunk you only talked gibberish. I mean, if you said something offensive, Keith would have hung up before you finish. But he didn’t and the call lasted quite long, so I guess all is well,” Allura tries to enlighten the situation.

“You know Keith, he wouldn’t hang up just like that no matter what the circumstances are,” Shiro says.

“Well I’ve met him before, hung out a couple times but I don’t know him well enough to say. It’s not like I ever dated him or anything,” Allura responds sarcastically, complete with the eye rolling that annoys Shiro as true as it is.

“That’s very helpful,” Shiro retorts, clearly losing his calm.

“Listen, if you’re really worried or curious or whatever it is you’re feeling right now, just go talk to him,” Allura suggests as she leans back to her seat with both hands folded and throwing Shiro a judging stare, “Same hospital, different department. Coran said he’s an attending now.”

 

* * *

 

 

As much as Shiro dislikes the idea, it is indeed the only way to clear his mind.

There he is standing right in front of the entrance to Tokyo Tokugawa General Hospital. Shiro couldn’t help but to remember his first year working for Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. While full fledge detective inspectors handle actual cases, junior investigators like him are the ones stuck with petty work. Being a new recruit at that time, Shiro makes regular trips to the ER—mostly accompanying low level criminals for medical assistance. He rarely goes there now, mainly because Shiro has been promoted.

That’s how he met Keith. Pale skin, slender, slightly above average height, with black hair that is the true definition of an organized mess. He was still an intern when they first met, one that is stationed at the hospital ER. The hospital emergency room isn’t really the most romantic place to meet your possible _the one_ and having a pick-pocket cuffed to your wrist only makes things worse. But Shiro’s presence still caught Keith’s attention and vice versa.

At first they mostly do small talk. Keith asking who he’s treating this time, Shiro giving information about the chase and at the end they ask each other how their day was. It went on for a couple weeks until one fateful evening, a car crash victim was rushed into the ER. Keith jumped into the team to assist but despite having attended med school, it was his first trauma patient and seeing that level of damage to one’s body, complete with the screams in agony, was too much for Keith to take at once. After taking his aggressive dunkard back to the precinct, Shiro returned to the hospital and waited until Keith’s shift ends. With puffy red eyes, Keith accepted Shiro’s offer to get steamed buns and beer before calling it a day. Keith calls that moment one of the lowest points of his career, but Shiro sees it differently. He sees it as an opportunity for Keith to develop as a doctor and more importantly, it was a significant stepping stone in their relationship.

After that things just sort of... happened. First it was after work snacks and beer. Then it became morning coffee breaks. Casual lunch outings followed and finally, dinner dates that end with breakfast.

They were together for two years before growing apart. Neither of them could guess why, sometimes things just grow apart. Sure, they were both busy, both of them rarely have time for the other but they were in love, and that’s what matters right?

Not entirely.

If you have chemistry the other thing you need is timing—but timing is a jerkass.

Keith was the one suggesting the break up and Shiro didn’t like it at all. They’d argue, then make up and argue again. If Keith is pushing away, Shiro would pull him back and when Shiro is too tired to keep it up, Keith would wordlessly cling by Shiro’s side. Their push and pull went on for a while. However, in the end they did go their separate ways. Despite being the one relucant about breaking up, Shiro is also the one taking it way too seriously. He declined every call and deleted every text from Keith. He pushed away every attempt Keith makes to maintain at least a bit of friendship between them. Childish, yes, even Shiro admits it. But in his defence, he can’t even face Keith without feeling heartbroken. He thought all he needed was time until things eventually get back to normal, but it went on and on and on. Suddenly a year passed, Keith has stopped trying and out of the blue this drunk talk shit happened.

Shiro makes his way through the hallways, takes the elevator, and walks past a glass door to get to the ICU where Keith is now stationed. Even after a whole year he still remembers perfectly. Keith was relocated from the ER to ICU right after completing his internship year. They were still together when he got the promotion and Shiro did visit a couple times. (Usually when Allura, the ER doctor replacing Keith, is busy patching up whoever it is Shiro brought to the hospital this time.)

Shiro heads for the nurse station. He knows for a fact that is where on-call doctors spend most of their time. And he is right. As Shiro walks closer he finds a figure so different yet familiar standing with his back facing him. It is the same height, the right posture, the exact standing position as Keith. But the Keith that Shiro remembers doesn’t wear a white coat, he wears plain colored scrubs as it is an unwritten rule for junior medical staff. Keith hates wearing scrubs. He said the monotone color makes him appear inhumanely gloomy. That was years ago and Keith isn’t a doctor in training anymore. It only reminds Shiro how long they’ve been apart.

“Hi,” Shiro says slowly. He leans a bit forward towards the desk and rests his elbows on top of it. There is a list of nurses on duty written on a whiteboard across the nurse station and Keith’s name is written on the very top, signing that he’s indeed the doctor on-call for that night.

Keith turns around and Shiro is right about his change of appearance. Keith has a navy blue cotton shirt underneath his medical white coat. A stetoscope is hanging around his neck. He doesn’t wear a name tag anymore, instead his name is embroided above the right chest pocket of his coat. He still has the same Swiss made watch on his left wrist—it was a present from his friends after graduating from med school.

“Oh.”

Shiro can see Keith’s eyes widen in surprise. After a while he lets out his signature chuckle, “Shiro, it’s been a while.”

To be honest, Shiro isn’t expecting Keith to be this welcoming. Keith has always been sparse with his smiles and that temporarily hindered his career as a doctor. As time goes by he learns to get along with others and to comfort his patients. Keith once said Shiro helped him get there, but really, Shiro didn’t feel like he deserves the praise. At most, he only wanted to see Keith smiling a bit more often.

“Yeah, it’s really good to see you,” Shiro blurted. Shit, now you sound desperate.

“Likewise,” Keith replies. He steps closer towards Shiro and only stops when he reached the desk, making it the only obstacle between them.

“Are you here with another pick-pocket who needs stitches, officer?”

Shiro laughs and Keith too. Shiro always hated accompanying people to the ER. He can’t complain to anyone in his precinct but luckily he had Keith who doesn’t mind listening.

“Officers are low ranking policemen who brings petty criminals to the ER for medical attention,” Shiro says with a rather smug smile. “It’s Detective Inspector Shirogane now.”

“You’ve come a long way from taking petty criminals for medical treatment to chasing murderers and arsonists,” Keith replies with a chuckle.

“You’re one to talk. I remember you freaking out in the ER, now you’re running this place,” Shiro teases back.

Keith laughs. True, he was pathetic as an intern. Turns out reading and learning about it in school doesn’t prepare you for real life in medicine.

Shiro’s lips also spread into a smile. Keith laughing is a sight he never thought he’d see again. Their little reunion suddenly fell awkward as they ran out of small talks.

“So,” Keith breaks the awkward silence between them. “I’m sure you didn’t come all this way to talk about work.”

“No, uh not really,” Shiro confirms.

Keith puts down his chart. He looks away for a second and inhales softly.

“It’s about last night, right?” Keith asks straight forward, “About the call?”

Shiro takes a deep breath, “Yes.”

Keith’s lips form an undescribable side-smile. “You tried so hard avoiding me, Shiro. Then, a year later, you called me in the middle of the night.”

“About that,” Shiro tries to set his words. “I was drunk, I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“Oh you were drunk,” Keith notes. His voice tone hints sarcasm. “I knew you weren’t in your right mind but I didn’t think you were drunk.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Shiro asks carefully.

Instead of answering, Keith lowers his gaze with a small smile still pasted on his face.

“Keith, please, what did I say?” Shiro insists. He’s now starting to worry. Despite his fondness of roasting people to crisps, when it’s personal matters Keith prefers to keep things to himself.

“I’m curious, Shiro. Why did you avoid me back then?” Keith asks, ignoring Shiro’s previous question. He lifts his head and stares back into Shiro’s eyes. “And I mean, excessively avoiding me. You never answer my calls, ignore my messages, and have your friends collect your stuff. I had to ask the precinct if you’re still here at all—it made me feel like a stalker when all I needed was just a word or two from you. There were so many things left hanging, so many unanswered questions. We could have ended things in a better fashion, you know.”

Both parties immediately realize this is a conversation long overdue. For a break up that happened a year ago, the topic brings an unusual uncomfortable feeling between them.

“It was hard for me, Keith. We broke up, it’s not like I could pretend everything is just okay,” Shiro answered honestly.

Keith scoffs. That’s probably the closest thing that comes as offensive from him. “And you thought it was easy for me?”

“I know, I know,” Shiro sighs and messes his own hair, “I’m sorry, Keith… I owe you that.”

Keith takes a deep breath and finally looks back to face Shiro. “It took us a year to finally have this conversation but the hell with that, I’m glad we’re doing it.”

“So,” Shiro reopens the conversation after clearing his throat, “Did I, uh, did I say anything?”

“Oh yeah, the drunk talk,” Keith says with his friendly voice tone again. “I guess every break up needs at least one of them, right?”

“What did I say?” Shiro askes again rather demandingly.

“The usual drunk call talks,” Keith says as he raise his shoulders, as if he’s heard plenty of them.

“What are the usual drunk call talks? Damn it Keith, enlighten me,” Shiro grumbles. He murmured a sorry after realizing he used crude words but Keith doesn’t seem to notice.

“People say that drunk talks comes from that tiny voice inside your head,” Keith starts. “Well, first you yelled profanity. You might have addressed me with every derogative word available in English and Japanese. Then you underlined the fact that you never loved me, convinced me that I am nothing more than a mistake and a waste of time.”

Shiro is too shocked to say anything.

“I always knew you’re disappointed because I suggested our break up. I just never thought that you hate me that much because of it,” Keith says slowly while forcing a smile. “Shiro.. I never wanted to hurt you, I wouldn’t even dare. It’s just that—back then, we were hurting each other.”

“Keith, I—“ Shiro choked at his own words, “I am truly sorry.”

_I can’t hate you, not even if I wanted to._

Then out of the blue Keith laughs. “I was just messing around, you idiot. Nah, you didn’t say those things. Come on, you’re annoying at times but you have too much respect for other people to say those aweful things.”

Shiro isn’t sure if he should be relieved or even more stressed knowing that he still doesn’t know what the hell happened during that phone call.

“Then… what did I say?”

Keith hesitates.

“Keith,” Shiro calls in a low voice tone.

Keith looks away, “You said you were sorry. You apologized for every mistake you may or may not have done… again, and again, and again. I tried to stop you but you were a freaking mess, I guess you thought that our break up was entirely your fault.”

“Oh,” Shiro felt slight relief.

“Yeah,” Keith assured with a nod, “Well um, just so you know, the break up wasn’t your fault. It’s just that we were growing too much apart and I don’t see why we should hang on to something that doesn’t go anywhere. You probably do hate me for suggesting the break up, goodness I hate myself for suggesting it, but at that time… I just don’t see a healthy relationship anymore. It’s not any of our fault Shiro, it’s just life.”

“I know. You were trying to stop us from hurting ourselves. I get it, Keith,” Shiro responds. He scratched the back of his head, unsure how to react.

“I’m sorry, Shiro,” Keith whispers. “I never got the chance to say it back then.”

“No it’s okay, I’m just relieved that everything is clear between us,” Shiro says with a small smile.

“There is one other thing you said to me,” Keith adds, uncertainty dominating his facial expression. He looks into Shiro’S eyes. Shiro can tell that Keith isn’t sure if it’s a good idea or not to share this with him.

“Yes?” and Shiro himself isn’t sure if he wants to know.

Keith breaks their eye contact and his confidence gradually disappear, “You said that you still love me.”

Both Shiro and Keith fall into deep silence.

“And you begged me to come back.”

Keith can still remember Shiro’s trebling voice through the phone; whispering pityful confessions, apologies and begging for another chance to make things right. Every word pains Keith but he kept the phone to his ears and listened to everything Shiro had to say. At some point Keith couldn’t hold his tears and he is just thankful that he wasn’t in the hospital during the call.

“You do realize that was drunk talk, right?” Shiro asks nervously after a moment of painful silence. The feeling he tried so hard to put away charging back. The emotion he always wants to push aside now seems more visible than ever. But nothing hurts more than the slap of reality. Shiro knows whatever he and Keith once had is gone.

“Of course,” Keith answers, “No worries.”

Another smile grew on his face. He steps back from the desk and gave the computer beside him a quick check. Shiro almost forgot he’s interrupting Keith’s shift.

“Great. I just—em, you know, want to make sure things are still okay between us. Even after we broke up and despite the drunk talk,” Shiro concludes.

“I understand. It was the drunk talk,” Keith turns his back again, making sure he faces the person he’s talking to.

“It was the drunk talk,” Shiro confirmes.

“It’s nice seeing you again,” Keith notes.

“You too,” Shiro replies with a heavy smile. “I should go now… can’t disturb you any more than I already am.”

He bids goodbye and Keith responds with a smile. Little do both of them know that this small reunion brings back way too many memories between them. Shiro walks away from the nurse station. Somehow his steps feel heavier now than before the talk and it defies his intention of coming. He was about to reach the elevator when he hears Keith’s voice.

“Are you sure it was the drunk talk?” Keith asks loud enough for Shiro to hear from a distance.

Shiro slowly turns his head back towards Keith. He can see the young doctor standing across the hall. His white coat slightly waving after his sudden move, making him look kind of heroic in some way. He doesn’t have his signature grin on his face, just uncertainty and possibly fear as well.

“Positive,” Shiro assures.

 _Lies_.

At that exact moment, Shiro witness disappointment taking over in Keith’s eyes.

“Pity,” Keith says slowly. “I would have said I still love you too. I might ask you for another chance as well but since it was just drunk talk, it wouldn’t make much of a difference, right?”

**Author's Note:**

> suggest this newbie some good Sheith stories please :3


End file.
